Ficlet: Incomplete 1/1

[starlit_desires]

Title: Incomplete 1/1

Author: Sweetness (aaronlisa@gmail.com)
Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Cordy/Doyle, some mention of Cordy/Angel.

Disclaimer: It all belongs to Joss Whedon and company.

Notes: Set during ATS Season Three. Written for word #81 for livejournal’s 15minuteficlets .

 

 
            Cordy sighed as she watched Gunn and Fred together. The pair was laughing as the climbed the stairs to their room. In many ways she was very jealous of what they had together. They just seemed so complete when they were with one another. It always seemed to her that as far as Gunn and Fred were concerned, the world could just disappear as long as they had one another. And watching them made her feel alone and incomplete.
            She didn’t have anyone like Fred had Gunn. She had once had someone like that but fate had ripped him away. It was times like this that she missed Doyle the most. She hadn’t known until it was too late what she felt for him. And then in one brief moment she realized what she had and then he was gone. He had done a heroic thing, but part of her resented what he had done. He had done it to save Angel and the countless of people that Angel had gone on to save and probably would continue to save. But by doing so, he had ruined her life. She didn’t care about the visions, they made her feel closer to him and they made her feel useful. But she did care about the fact that no one could ever take his place in her heart. She had tried so many times to make a connection with someone, just to be close to another human but in the end it hadn’t worked. They couldn’t understand her much less understand her daily life.
            She had grown closer to Angel in the years that she had fought by his side and she knew that the visions that Doyle had given her had only strengthened her bond with Angel. And if she were forced to admit it, she did have feelings of love for the dark brooding vampire. But even Angel was powerless to chase the specter of Doyle out of her heart and mind. Perhaps it was just as well, because she knew that he still pined for Buffy. It seemed unfair that they were both drawn to each other because they were unable to turn to their rightful loves. But at least Angel understood her and her life, and he understood how she felt about Doyle.
            Cordy turned back to her magazine and sighed again. She regretted all of the time that she had wasted. If she had only been less stubborn, and had actually taken a chance, she could have had some time with him. But instead she had been stubborn and fearful to take a chance and she had lost out. And she doubted that she would ever have that chance again.

**END**