starlit_desires | ORG FIC: Inertia 1/1 (Reply)

OK I am a little hestiant to post this here. It's only my second piece of original fiction that I've posted. Please be honest with this one. I'd like to know what you thought about it. And yes it's supposed to be depressing. This wasn't where I was quite heading with this one when I first wrote it, but I was feeling quite a bit of inertia myself and just wanted to capture that feeling. So let me know if I have or haven't. Thanks!

ps if you like my little fairy signature, rubyfirefly made it for me.

Title: Inertia

Author: Aaronlisa (aaronlisa@gmail.com)

Summary: “I had had a boring life filled with endless routine that had been ingrained since early childhood.”

            I had had a boring life filled with endless routine that had been ingrained in me since early childhood. By the time I was twenty-five, I’d stopped asking questions. I’d stopped asking why I got up every morning during the week and went to my dead end job, or why I came home after work and did the same monotonous things. Nor did I ask for more or why other people had better lives than me. I had accepted what I had without question, and without hope. I think that deep down I still wanted more from life but my wants were no longer the same wants that I had wanted five years earlier. Instead of wanting to capture the world and set it on flame with my revolutionary ideas, I settled for wanting a better job with better pay, a brand new car, more time to sleep on the weekends. The things that I wanted at twenty-five were trivial and boring, and they were certainly not unique. I was a little drone living a soulless existence and I no longer reacted against it. Instead I accepted it.
            Now I should warn you to not expect some epiphany or miracle from my little tale. It’s not going to happen. If that’s what you’re expecting, well you might want to go elsewhere. There wasn’t a life-shattering moment or a moment of pure clarity that caused my life to change in wonderful and delightful ways. That’s not going to happen. Why? Well, it didn’t happen, and to be honest, I don’t think that type of stuff really happens in real life. No, that’s the stuff of fantasy, you know movies and TV shows and novels, but not of real life. I knew that I was living a lifeless life. I just couldn’t change it. You see the main characters of a movie or TV show or a novel throw away their dull, boring and meaningless lives to achieve their lifelong dream or to make a difference, but what you never see is them dealing with the reality of their lives. You never see the bill collector threatening them or the growing list of responsibilities that force real people to stay in their bleak lives.
            I would have loved for nothing more than to walk out of my job and to feel liberated as I had my glorious epiphany and made a difference. I wanted to break the routines that held me a prisoner. But between debts and familial responsibilities, I was tied to my life. I was imprisoned with no hope of parole. Being an only child with a sick and dying mother didn’t help either. I had debts that kept piling up on one another forcing me to wake up every morning and to go into work and work as hard as I could, to only go home and force myself to care for her.
            And perhaps I did have an epiphany of some sort. I realized that as much as I grew to hate her for keeping me tied down and imprisoned, I realized that I was inert and incapable of changing through, even if it was through no choice of my own.

**END**